Why Do They Lie?

Men lie to women.  Women lie to men. And most people agree that some lying is even necessary -- to avoid petty squabbles and to grease the wheels of a relationship.

But there are crucial differences in the lies women and men tell. A study by psychologist Bella M. DePaulo of the University of Virginia found that when women lie, they tend to focus on making others feel better -- such as the woman who tells her hostess that dinner is "simply delicious" even as she cringes with every mouthful. 

At the heart of many men's lies, however, is the male ego. Men lie to build themselves up or to conceal something, DePaulo says. According to psychologist Michael Lewis men are more likely to lie to enhance themselves than women are.

In a nutshell when women lie, it is about the other person; when men lie, it is all about themselves.

A few specific reason BROTHERS lie are:

1. SOME BROTHERS DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH LYING: This means that some guys are just liars and that’s what they do best. Evidently, these BROTHERS don’t see how a lack of trust will undermine a loving relationship. Since these brothers don't see anything wrong with lying, they will continue to lie because it has always helped them achieve their short-term objectives in the past.

2. WHAT THEY LIE ABOUT IS NOT IMPORTANT: Sometimes, a guy will slip and say something that isn’t totally true because it is not very important to them. If the thing they are lying about is of little consequence to them, then what’s the big deal? It’s part of the freedom of doing and saying whatever they want, whenever they want.

3. SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND AND TELLING THE TRUTH MOST LIKELY WOULD MAKE IT WORSE: This is probably the biggest reason why BROTHERS lie. By telling the truth, their fear is that the woman will evaluate solely from her point-of-view and not consider his side of the story. Rather than deal with this situation, a guy will often tell what he sees as a “little white lie” in order to avoid setting off a chain-reaction of other unwanted emotions in the woman. However, this also becomes a convenient “excuse” for BROTHERS that justifies their negative actions and minimizes the “wrong” of lying.

4. IT'S BETTER TO NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL:  A lot of BROTHERS see that lying by omission is a less offensive way of avoiding the truth. If the subject is not brought up at all or stonewalled immediately, then maybe the issue will go away.

5. BROTHERS WILL LIE NOW AND HOPE THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE LATER:  Lying is often a short-term solution to avoiding confrontation. Some BROTHERS feel that a little bit of lying now will avoid that confrontation and that maybe things will change in the future.  In addition, lying is a selfish way to protecting the liar without considering the other person’s best interests.

6. SOME BROTHERS LIE BECAUSE THE TRUTH SIMPLY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH: In the effort to impress a woman and show a proud front, a man will often exaggerate, distort, or delete certain truths. That’s because the truth about them may not be good enough in the man’s opinion to hold the attention/affection of the woman in a competitive dating world. Once this pattern is established, a man may continue until his lies are discovered.

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